Arrived.

They are not capable of understanding it. Not in words, not in explanations too. They have labels for everything. A friend, a lover, family.. It's like something has to be classified and everything has its noun. They thought it has to be. Sometimes, I got so overwhelmed--because they came from everywhere, seemingly--and I started to think that I was crazy to think my way. But I was meeting Ims, who thankfully knew it without me explaining too much. I recognized 26 different alphabets. I knew it well, I know how to put and make them good. But for this case, even I was not able to contemplate these combinations of words to explain, how grateful I am that somebody finally knows how it is now, and how okay it has been to have no label being with somebody.


I could feel the electricity. Bursting, looking for a way out of my veins. It pumped my nerves aggressively. I felt so swollen, it gave me butterflies simply because I talked about him. And as much as I talked, I realize deep down inside of me, there was this desire buried deep, deep, in a dark place of scare: to be somewhere with him. I don't know, what's the point of even trying, or being together if in the end you knew you wouldn't go anywhere, anyway? I said. Ims looked at me with his big eyes. We both were silent. There were long pauses..



Then I stopped. I stopped at one, and only one, conclusion. That I realized I've been becoming society. And that is not me.. That is not what I think I wanted, it's society. That actually, we don't have to be anywhere..





We're already there.