Doaku pada suatu Senin, petang

Tuhan, terima kasih sudah memberiku ketahanan
untuk melihat kebaikan yang menimpa semua orang.
Waktu mereka seperti berlari. Aneh, aku malah sedang berhenti.

Terima kasih sudah membantuku menerima keindahanku,
memberi pemahaman bahwa meski aku bertumbuh menjadi mawar,
tidak membuatku lebih buruk rupa dari bunga matahari.

Tuhan, terima kasih sudah berbicara lewat alam semesta,
aku jadi tahu apa yang aku inginkan, tahu wujud kebaikanMu.
Dunia terlalu singkat dan sederhana untuk kuhabiskan
tanpa melakukan hal-hal yang kusenangi.

Aku pun sadar, kaya-raya bukan tujuan utamaku,
melainkan rasa, melainkan bahagia.
Terima kasih atas rasa syukurnya, ya Tuhanku.
Nikmat sekali menjadi pribadi yang lebih dewasa.

Aku tahu nilai diri dan kapasitasku.
Sebagaimana aku tahu, ia pun begitu.


Sekarang aku menguarkan ambisiku jauh ke langit,
ke tempat Kau mungkin berada.
Aku tuturkan khawatir, keraguan, dan mimpiku
untuk menemuiMu,

untuk Kau lepaskan disaat yang tepat.

Entri untuk seorang teman yang berduka

Kepada hati yang sedang hancur-hancurnya.

Menurutku, rasa sakit tidak seharusnya kita abaikan atau coba hilangkan.
Rasa sakit adalah bentuk perayaan atas kebaikan, kerja keras, dan harapan.
Yang menjadikanmu hidup, yang menjadikanmu seperti adanya kau ada.

Kau pernah dengar, kan? Rasa sayang dan kehilangan berjalan beriringan.
Meski kadang kita lupa, 'Mengasihi itu seperti apa?'
Kita baru paham sakitnya, ketika kehilangan membuat kita merasakan
sekaligus berhenti merasakan.


Rasa sakit--seburuk apapun itu--adalah perayaan atas kehidupan.
Rayakan,
rasakan.

Perlahan namun pasti, kau akan melihat bahwa dunia
mulai dipenuhi warna lagi.
Percayalah selalu ada yang baik dari rasa kehilangan.
Ingat bahwa setiap hati dipenuhi kebaikan dan
warna dunia terpancar dari dalamnya.

Bersabarlah, karena hal-hal baik selalu datang tepat waktu.


Sampai saatnya tiba,
Take your time. Take it as much as you need.




Kau tahu siapa dirimu. 
Aku menyayangimu sepenuh hati.

Visions I Wrote on My Twenty-third Birthday

Today I met some friends, realizing some things worth telling. I should always remind myself just in case one day I forgot, so I might as well write it down.

1.     Everyone has their own definition of success.

It could be anything. It doesn’t always revolve around money. It could be self-actualization. It could be the job you really like. It could be the destinations you’ve reached. It could also be lots of friends and colleagues that help you through every needs. The definition of a good life for each and every person is different and we serve to different calling and purposes as well. I believe that chasing and comparing over money will never come to an end, it will only make you always feel anxious and not enough. Being rich and healthy is being content with what you are, what you have. Also that being healthy means mentally too.

2.     Remember that you are facing different paths with others.

These days, I feel like doing everything to get fast money. Every meetings I encountered with a friend, leads me to depression and anxiety. It also had made me confused of who I wanted to become, of what I liked the most. I always cease for better career, not knowing that I had to start with things that I loved. I was hit by panic attack, thinking I have to pursue the same path my friend does. I didn’t know I might have my own, I just had to be patient while finding it. Also, I have learned that plantation works in stronger place. It’s not mind nor perspective. It is heart.

3.     Don’t make money your intention of living.

I sometimes felt like I wanted to be someone else, living someone else’s life, I thought I might do better. I didn’t see it coming, I didn’t scan lives thoroughly. Everyone is dealing their own battle. We are just sometimes too carried away with the idea of our own ideal living. Money might be your biggest issue just now. Change the heart. Cliché as it is, but money is not everything. Live in perfect balance. Feed your soul and enrich them. You won’t take those money away with you, not everyone might acknowledge your existence. But you’ll live in your own pace, not with people that you want but people that you need and when you’re content with life, you’ll finally find your own peace.

4.     Life revealed itself at the right time.

Flowers bloom in its time, just like human beings. Always remember one thing comes after another. The beauty of life is the process of achieving. Remember to always be content. Remember to always be down to earth. Aware with your existence. Life is not always about achieving bigger. Your Maslow’s hierarchy of need has to be reviewed every once in a while, because needs and mind changes overtime. It’s not wrong to aim better and higher position in a company or career, but always make sure it is healthy for you (both financially and mentally).

5.     Involve others and give more.

You’re not alone in this life-game. We are survivors, we are warriors. Everything you do, do it for the good of two people: you and the others. When you do the right thing, the universe gives you more. Be patient with yourself, you have the rest of your life to get everything that you need, just in time. When you have something, give more. Feel a bit more less, that life is a cycle that will always, always comes back to you. Everything is in fruition. Spead kindness, speak good words. Let the vibration sinks deep, not only inside of you, let it affect others too. Being so cranky about others’ success means you’re not yet visioning your life clearly, jealousy and fear only stains a mark that makes your heart ugly. Be happy when someone’s reaching their dreams and goals. You have your own time. You might be contributing to their success, and if you’re lucky, they’ll remember that. Life is a cycle. It is a circle that comes back, to you.

You can have everything you need: a good career, jobs that you like, destinations you wanted to reach, building a nice home for your parents. You will visit places you’ll never dare to dream. You’ll live well with the love of your life and children that you raised to be good persons. And you’ll maintain a healthy lifestyle, because you appreciate life. Your career comes to fruition, not because you’re that good, but because you like them and you treated them well. Remember these things: you are so strong, you are capable and the world is in your grip. You just have to focus on doing the right thing. Don’t waste your time fearing things you cannot control. Be content. Let go. Just like a quote Fachmi once told you. Life might not be great. Might not be perfect, but it is good. Life is good.

Ah, it’s my birthday. Everything’s coming. Sense it. Embrace it.